Sunday, June 5, 2011


A few days ago, my parents were visiting from out of town. We were all sitting in the car driving towards home when my dad suddenly broke the silence by asking us if we were "guaranteed" our children in Ethiopia.
It nearly caught Sol and I by surprise - then again, my dad is just as random with conversation as I am.  So I followed right along.  There was not a strike of doubt in my response but rather a confidence that although we don't know how much longer it will be, we do have faith that God knows what He is doing. Out of good intentions, I am sure he was hoping for a time frame  as well as making sure that our efforts of waiting aren't hopeless. Perhaps he is also having a hard time waiting for his grandchildren to come home!

I must admit that later that day, doubts started creeping in and unfortunately I let them dominate the peace in my heart.

There is not much that is  "guaranteed" with adoption: our hope for  6-8 months waiting for our referral has changed to 10-14 months and then again we could be waiting longer. We can't even guarantee that our children will immediately attach to us and love us back the way we love them.  To say the least, it's been a tremendous step of faith for us to walk this journey believing and holding on to His calling in our lives: caring for the orphans and loving and praying for these 2 children that we have never met. 

This afternoon I piled my sick and feverish boys in the car and rushed to the post office. We arrived 15 minutes before closing to send in our home study update to the USCIS. 
After debating for a minute or two whether I should send it priority mail or express mail, I opted to pay the $18 and send it express mail....
Why on earth would I pay $18 for a few sheets of paper to be mailed?
Because I wanted to guarantee that my PRECIOUS mail would arrive quickly and maybe even be given a little extra care.( I think the lady behind the counter thought I was a bit overly concerned about my piece of my mail - I kept confirming the exact time/day that it would arrive.)
As I handed her my mail, I felt the same rush of emotions that overwhelmed me when we sent out our completed dossier.  I said a quick prayer and let it go.

As I was driving home, I began to reflect on why I got so emotional over mailing our home study update... I realized that once again I felt out of control. What if our piece of mail got lost? What if there was a major storm and our mail dropped in a huge puddle of water,,, - sigh...
pretty pathetic, huh?

But isn't that life?  We can't guarantee that everything will work out the way we want it to all the time. We can hope and pray and yet sometimes it feels like God uses these insecure moments to remind us of who He is and what He does guarantee us.

So to remind myself, I wrote some verses down:

Deuteronomy 7:9

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."

Isaiah 54:10
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

Psalm 89:28 (God's covenant with David)

"I will maintain my love to him forever, and my covenant with him will never fail."

Psalm 105:8

"He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations,"

Genesis 28:15 (God's promise to Abraham)

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Hebrews 10:23

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful"

Hebrews 10:36

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

Psalm 145:13

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does.

Ephesians 1:13-15

"And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. "