Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Walking on water

I find myself relating to Peter, one of Jesus' disciples. A particular story that I can relate to is from Matthew 14:22-29:

" Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them:
“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
"Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
"Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

When Jesus assured his disciples that it was Him. Peter immediately responded and stepped on the water attempting to walk towards Jesus. Unfortunately he started to sink when he began to focus on his own fears and self-doubt.Jesus reminds Peter to "take courage" and not be afraid.

Lately I have found myself focusing on all of the unknowns of our adoption.

To be honest, It can be discouraging when we are asked how "Sure" we are that these 4 children are ours and when we get approached with the questions like:

"How can you guys handle 6 children and is your marriage strong enough for this? Are you sure your biological children will be able to adjust to their adopted siblings?"

No doubt these questions come from good intentions but first of all, nothing is ever
 "for sure" ESPECIALLY in adoption. These 4 children will not be ours until they are flying on the airplane back home with us. Even then, all of our children - biological or adopted are God's children given to us on this earth to love and raise up. 
Taking care of 6 children will only come by depending on God's mercy and strength.
Our marriage is but a testimony of God's redemption and is going strong only because of Him. We are only attempting to walk in daily obedience and submission to Jesus. 
We believe that God equips those He calls.
He will equip us every moment of the day with whatever our needs may be.

Even though I may have some reasonable answers to others' questions, I still walk away discouraged. Like Peter, I begin to sink into my own sea of doubts and fears. I forget that Jesus is right there waiting for me. All I need to do is focus back on Him, reach out and grab his hand and I will start walking on the water again.

It seems so simple and yet it's not.

It's a daily struggle and I am confronted with different challenges every moment each day. I want to be able to walk on the water with Jesus everyday and not get consumed with what others think or even with my own self doubt.
But... even when that doubt creeps in, I can still hear Him say:

"Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid."

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